


What Makes a Family

by TheNightFury



Series: Prince of Lasan [6]
Category: Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: M/M, Sabine paints her emotions, royal au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-04
Updated: 2019-05-04
Packaged: 2020-02-23 18:52:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,134
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18707929
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheNightFury/pseuds/TheNightFury
Summary: After losing his entire world to the cruelty of the Empire, Zeb does everything in his power to harden his heart to the world and not let anyone in. His new crew though, continually comes dangerously close to becoming a new family for him. It will take every ounce of willpower in him to keep them emotionally distant from him. But as time passes, Zeb finds it harder and harder for him to want to be alone.





	What Makes a Family

They always said time healed all wounds. Whoever they where though didn’t suffer the tragedies Zeb and his crew were forced to endure time and time again. Though they seemed like good people trying to do their best to help people in this vile, hopeless galaxy, Zeb very firmly kept them all at arm’s length. The last thing he needed was to get attached to a painfully frail and fragile human who would inevitably be cruelly ripped from his arms far to soon. Better for him to harden his heart to anyone and everyone, to live his life alone and safe from feeling the pain he felt when he lost Alex. 

A bitter part of his mind always wondered if it would have been less painful if the council and his aunt had been right. What if he had just not met Alex and married some noble girl? He wouldn’t have loved her like he loved Alex- but no. It would still hurt. Because he lost so many others as well, like his father and his friends. Nothing could trying make that horrible day any easier. He didn’t know any better before, but now he did. No one would ever worm their way into his heart again. 

Sleep didn’t come easy to Zeb. Most nights where plagued with horrible nightmares with Zeb being forced to watch Alex be brutally murdered by the Empire over and over again in different agonizing ways. Most days Alex would scream for Zeb as he was brutally beaten to death, Zeb unable to move or do anything to stop it. 

Tonight, unfortunately, was no different. The dream always started off pleasant with Alex and Zeb together. Today they where lying together side by side in the fields, holding hands without the weight of the galaxy on their shoulders. Something different happened this time however. Suddenly Alex sat up and sadly looked at Zeb and whispered, 

“Zeb…. please, you need to let me go.”

“What?” Zeb asked, looking at him in confusion.

“I’m gone Zeb,” Alex whispered. “Please, I need you to move on and be happy.”

“I can’t,” Zeb said, voice cracking “Not without you.”

“Zeb-“ Alex begged, reaching out to him, only for a horrible explosion to send them flying apart. Once again Zeb found himself buried under a pile of rubble as faceless Stormtroopers advanced on the horribly injured Alex. Zeb desperately tried to free himself, to call out to Alex, anything, but his body refused to cooperate with any of his desperate commands. Deep down, he knew he couldn’t change what happened, but in the midst of this vivid dream, Zeb couldn’t bring himself to accept that. Their had to be something he could do! 

As every other night though, Zeb could only watch as Alex was brutally beat to death by the troopers, who mercilessly slammed their blasters against Alex’s body as he cried out in agony, begging for mercy. The troopers didn’t stop though until his body had gone completely limp, the life drained for his body and his skin paled with death. 

“NO!” Zeb cried as he jolted away, heavily breathing as tears poured down his face. Zeb wanted to reach across to grab Alex and hold him close, but he wasn’t there and he never would be. Zeb didn’t know how long he lay there, sobbing weakly in his bed, unable to convince himself to get up from bed, a part of him wishing one day he simply would never wake up and would finally reunited with his Alex. But he knew Alex would be disappointed in him for just giving up, but it was so hard….

Zeb couldn’t help but think of a conversation he and Alex had just before they got married. 

“Zeb….when I de-“ Alex began, looking at Zeb with pleading eyes, but Zeb didn’t want to have this conversation. Didn’t want to think of a life without Alex.

“No,” Zeb firmly said.

“Zeb we need to talk about this-“

“Why now?” Zeb asked. “We’re about to get married and start the next chapter of our long lives together-“

“If not now, then when?” Alex demanded. “I-I can’t in good conscious marry you without knowing you can move on-“

“Alex,” Zeb said, taking Alex’s hands in his. “I can’t imagine a life without you right now. We’re young and have a long full life ahead of us. I don’t want to weigh these good times down with fear of what will happen later on. I want to fully and completely enjoy the time with you and….worry about the less pleasant stuff when we have to.”

“….” Alex sighed before saying, “Okay, okay. We can put off this conversation for now, but this is a conversation we will need to have.”

“I can reluctantly agree to that,” Zeb said before pecking his cheek. “Now, we need to finish planning who we actually want to come to our wedding?” 

He knew Alex would want him to let go and move on, to find love with someone else. But how could he? When Lasat married, they never remarried, even if their first mate died, as it was seen as a betrayal to your chosen mate whom it was believed you would be reunited with after death. Zeb wasn’t sure if he even believed it anymore, but a part of him hoped he would be reunited with Alex someday. 

Did Alex know that Lasat typically did not find a new mate when theirs died? Had Zeb ever told him? Why hadn’t he? He might have understood then why Zeb didn’t want to find someone else-

“Zeb! Come on wake up already!” Sabine called, pounding on the door. 

“Go away,” Zeb grunted, rolling away. 

“It’s almost lunch Zeb!” Sabine snapped. “Why are you always laying around all day long?”

“None of your business-“ Zeb said as Sabine opened the door to his room. “Karabast can’t someone have some alone time?” 

“We’re a team Zeb! But how can we if you don’t open up to us?” Sabine demanded, “You’re always pushing us all away and keeping this wall up!”

“Teams don’t need to open up!” Zeb snapped. “That’s what a family does and we are not family!”

“Why can’t we be?”

“I don’t need another family to die on me!”

“Enough with the pity party-“

“I don’t want or need your pity! I want to be left alone,” Zeb snapped. 

“Unfortunately, since you are a part of a team, you don’t get to be alone,” Sabine snarkily said. 

“You could start by leaving my room right now!” Zeb snapped. 

“There you go, pushing people away like you always do!”

“Well deal with it!”

“No!” Sabine said. “No one wants to be alone and miserable-“

“Well I do!” Zeb snapped. 

“Why?”

“Because people I love always die!” Zeb snarled, the anger almost instantly draining from his body, consumed by grief for every loved one he lost on that horrible day. “They always leave me…..”

“We won’t leave you-“

“You don’t know that,” Zeb tiredly said. “Al-….h-he didn’t plan on dying when he did.”

“Who?” Sabine asked. For a moment, Zeb considered shooing her off, but sighed, realizing she wouldn’t leave him alone until he talked to her. Despite everything he said, he wanted someone to actually understand the pain he has been in for the past three years. 

“I….I was married to someone before Lasan fell.” Zeb whispered, struggling to get the words out. “He was brave, compassionate, honorable. He made me feel strong and….he could tell what I was feeling by just looking at me and always knew what to say even when I didn’t know it’s what I needed to hear…”

“You really loved him, didn’t you?” Sabine whispered. 

“Yes,” Zeb croaked. “I loved him so much. He was…my everything. I-I don’t know how I’m supposed to go on without him.”

“I didn’t reali-“

“You never asked,” Zeb snapped. “None of you ever really cared to know what I lost.”

“I-“

“Just please leave me be,” Zeb begged. 

“…..okay,” Sabine reluctantly agreed, finally leaving him be.

\----

Sabine hadn’t meant to upset Zeb the way she had, hadn’t realized she would cause him so much pain by trying to get him to open up. She had wanted to help, but all she did was hurt him. A part of her was angry that Zeb had kept this from them for all these years, but as usual Hera put everything into perspective. 

“Why do you keep barging in on Zeb?” Hera asked Sabine shortly after she stormed into the Galley. 

“He’s always hiding out in his room!” Sabine exclaimed. “How can we be a team if he is always hiding from us?”

“With everything he’s been through, can you really blame him for being reluctant to let people get close to him again?”

“It’s not healthy to push people away-“

“No it’s not,” Hera agreed. “But he has lost everything when Lasan fell. His family, his friends, his home-“

“We could help him!”

“He needs to want help,” Hera said. “We can’t force him. All we can do is be here for him when he’s ready.”

“I….guess you’re right,” Sabine reluctantly agreed. 

“Thank you,” Hera said with a smile. “And trust me, it may take time, but Zeb eventually will be ready to talk to us.”

“And we’ll be here for him when he is,” Sabine said. 

“Exactly,” Hera assured. “Whatever he needs, we’ll be here for him.”

“Right….” Sabine said, mind churning as inspiration hit her for a new painting. Initially she wanted to paint this new piece in Zeb’s room but realized it might be rude. Besides, he could always come into her room to look at it if she wanted to. 

“Sabine?” Hera asked. 

“Sorry, inspiration hit, I need to get to my paints,” Sabine said before running off. Art had always been her outlet. Whenever she had something on her mind, her art could help her sort out things and put everything into perspective. Her best art came from moments like this, where she just started painting to let everything out, and she had a lot to get out today. And luckily she had an empty space begging for something to be painted on it. 

She didn’t know what he looked like, or what traditional clothes looked like on Lasan, but in the end, she realized it didn’t matter. She was trying to capture his essence anyways, his bravery, his strength, and most importantly his love for Zeb. 

When she first picked up her paint, she had only intended to draw Zeb’s mystery husband, but as she started to paint, her plans completely changed and she found herself drawing Zeb, holding him in his arms, the pair gazing at each other with pure adoration in their eyes, forehands pressed together. Her only reference for what a Lasat looked like was Zeb, but looking at it, she felt she was capturing his essence, which was what this was all about anyways. 

Sabine paused in her painting to inspect her work so far, hoping the Lasat in Zeb’s arms portrayed not only the strength Zeb told her about, but also the endless love he had for Zeb. She wished she could have met more Lasat so she knew better how they looked, but she did the best she could.

“Sabine? You in here?” Zeb said, poking his head inside, “Hera say’s to get ready we’re-” Sabine turned to face Zeb when he stopped talking to find him staring at the painting. 

“I….haven’t finished it yet…” Sabine uncertainly said. “I know it probably looks nothing like him but hearing about him, I wanted to immortalized him in some way….is this….okay?” She was proud of it, it may be one of her best pieces, but if Zeb hated it, she wouldn’t hesitate to remove every trace of its existence. 

Zeb didn’t do or say anything for a minute, making Sabine fear he hated it. But then he swallowed thickly and said,

“H-he would have loved it.” 

“You think so?” Sabine hopefully asked. 

“I-I know it,” Zeb said, before pulling her into a bone crushing hug without warning, “Thank you.”

“Your welcome,” She said as Zeb released him. “Now uh what did Hera need?”

“She said we need to get ready, we’ve got a new mission from Fulcrum.”

“What mission?”

“Don’t know for sure, just know we’re going to Lothal,” Zeb said with a shrug. 

“Lothal?” Sabine asked. “What’s even there?”

“Not sure,” Zeb said. “But Kanan said he felt pulled there as well and…well I don’t want to argue with him.”

“Yea,” Sabine agreed. Kanan’s instinct had gotten them out of jams before. It was probably best to just trust him at this point. “To Lothal.”


End file.
